But then, I lost my job, and the money I'd been setting aside for the wedding had to go towards taking care of our bills. It became apparent not too long after that a wedding in 2010 wasn't really possible. Thankfully, I hadn't sent out any invitations, or booked any vendors yet. But it's still frustrating because I had finally really committed myself to something in the wedding planning.
You see, this isn't the first time we've put off the wedding. When he proposed to me in 2009, I thought we were getting married in the fall of that year. I never set a date, though, because we didn't have the money. Same story again in the spring of 2010. We can't get married without the money, plain as that.
This makes it hard for me to want to commit myself to a date again. I'm still out of work, though Joshua has started a new job since I lost mine which pays better. I'll probably be back out working again soon, and if we're both earning it, we'll have the money for our wedding in no time. But it's upsetting and frustrating to sit down and start planning something, with the worry in the back of my head that it's all for nothing.
But still, I know this is one of the first tasks you have to tackle, before you can do anything else. And so, I'm planning this wedding for Sunday, April 17, 2011. The reason for this is that it's still very early in the normal wedding season, but should be warm enough for an outdoor wedding. It's also the week before MTAC, which is the event that Joshua proposed at. I think it would be a nice stay-cation sort of honeymoon to go there, get a hotel room, and just spend time doing things that make the both of us happy.
I still don't have my heart set on it, to ward against disappointment, but I'm also itching to get on with some serious planning, so we'll see what comes of this. And hey, if I have to put it off again, then I'll just have even more time to plan the wedding.
Edit (10/14/10) I'm glad I wasn't setting anything too hard in stone. Turns out that weekend is the end of Passover, and since one of my bridesmaids is Jewish, I'd like her to be able to enjoy our food and celebration to its fullest. Since I doubt our food choices are kosher for Passover, I'll probably reschedule for the weekend before, either the 9th or the 10th.
I also have a very good reason not to put it off any further; my grandmother is sick and possibly dying, and I really, really want her there. So I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she can be there, even if it means having less than my perfect wedding.