|Our apartment has looked like this before. It's embarrassing.|
Some of the problems I know we've had before include: me having bad habits, and not being able to keep it up for more than a few days, Joshua not trying at all, leading to me being discouraged and feeling like he doesn't respect me, having clutter start forming, and just keep growing until it fills the whole house, and feeling overwhelmed when there is a lot to do, and not trying because I know it'll be too hard.
Well, since I've tried on my own before, and failed, I'm not reaching to the internet for help. And I've gotten a few tools that I'm trying to use to better our lives together as a couple. Because, if nothing else, I know we shouldn't start having children before we can start taking care of ourselves as adults.
The tool that I'm using to help myself form better habits is FLYLady. I like that it starts you off with really, really simple babysteps, and leads you in to cleaning habitually, instead of trying to just rush you through the process. On top of that, there is a definite focus on not only creating better cleaning habits, but Finally Loving Yourself, or FLYing. The website is a bit hokey at first glance, but so far I'm having some luck with it.
For Joshua, though, I needed something different. So, we're now competing against one another on Chore Wars! I can see this being effective on all manner of children, man-children, and woman-children. It basically turns doing chores into a competition/game, with fun descriptions and 'rewards'. You can even set up a system so that your family can exchange virtual rewards for real life perks, like a bigger allowance, or a trip to the candy store; that sort of thing. On a similar note, if you have an iPhone, you might want to try the Epic Win app. It's an RPG to do list! I don't have an iPhone, so I haven't been able to try it, but it seems promising.